Eek!

[helster]

I've met a man who is actually my doctor. He is a similar age to me. I felt `vibes' from him. (I've had 4 appointments for an ongoing issue) He's very sweet and seemed to get tongue-tied a couple of times. He has only very recently moved to the area as have I.

My problem is that I am very shy. I can chat to him and have a laugh but I couldn't imagin furthering things with him.

I have found out that he is not married but I don't know if he is single or not. I really want to find out as I can't stop thinking about him.

I'm 27 years old.

I looked him up on Friend Reunited and he said that he'd recently moved to the area and had bought a new house yet he made no mention of a girlfriend. Does this mean he's single?

I do get the feeling that he likes me but I can't be sure.

Please advise. I'm going out of my mind.

Helster.

[spinchimp]

If you do want to start a relationship you will first have to change doctors - there is a serious professional ethics issue here.

[helster]

Hi. I think you're right. I won't be going to him for much longer as the issue is virtually dealt with. Thanks for your answer.

[WendyS]

Oh dear helster - this could be putting him in a very difficult professional situation Ethically he can't afford to get himself emotionally involved with one of his patients without making himself very vulnerable to a charge of professional misconduct so he's going to be careful to conduct himself with great care when dealing with you in a medical capacity.

If he really does like you, is single and might be interested in seeing you in a social capcity, maybe the only way round this, next time you see him as a patient, is to say jokingly "I think I'm going to have to change my doctor - I'm starting to enjoy coming to see you too much! " or something along those lines.

If he's interested and can't take the hint and follow through then when you've given him that kind of innocuous opening,. I think you'll just have to accept that he's being very friendly but doesn't want to take it any further. However hard it is, don't press it and put him in a dificult situation. He's devoted five years of his life to getting qualified and can't afford to wreck his career by finding himself in a complicated situation with a patient.

Good luck and start thinking of a suitable excuse for your next visit. Do your tetanus injections need bringing up to date ???

[helster]

My main problem is how to go about starting something after I've stopped going.

[mullein3]

he will get the sack if he goes out with you while you are his patient its against their rules...my doctor is over friendly but he is the same with everyone as i have asked other people..my doctor is also new to this area and he is probably just making effort..checking up on your doctor isnt a very good idea ..feeling the way you do it would probably be better if you changed doctor..

[Octavius]

helster - under GMC rules he could be struck off the register if he contravenes the duties of a doctor registered with the General Medical Council under the Good Medical Practice Guide. Particularly...

20. You must not allow your personal relationships to undermine the trust which patients place in you. In particular, you must not use your professional position to establish or pursue a sexual or improper emotional relationship with a patient or someone close to them.

If you really want to pursue something, he neds you to be completely off his patient register, otherwise any hint of an approach from you he will have to strike you off himself and pass you to another doctor.

So first things first, change doctors before it goes too far.

[helster]

He's a Chiropractor. Will he be aware of this ruling? Maybe that might explain a few things.

My appointments with him will end very soon as the issue he's dealing with is nearly dealt with.

How can I let him know that I like him and that i'd like him to get intouch when I'm done without compromising is position?

Thankyou so much for your help.

Hx

[helster]

I haven't done any snooping that could get back to him. When my mother found out about him she said `ooh, is he young, good looking and single'? as is her way. her friend that referred us to him said that hewas good looking and wasn't married. That's all I know. x

[funnywebsite]

This happens a lot. Patients fall in love with their doctors. He is nice and caring and you think he likes you. The only problem is he behaves like that to everybody because it is his job. Maybe on the odd occasions it is true but a lot of the time patients believe it because somebody is being nice to them. On this occasion you don't know but you seem very keen as you have already been checking him out. Just be wary of the risks.

[helster]

Do you think it would be acceptable to get in touch with him afterward I'm not his patient anymore? I'm awar that this is completely ridiculous but I can't stop thinking about him.

[helster]

I just want to state that I've had various relationships and have had experience with men and how they behave. This is just complicated because he's my doctor.

[woofgang]

If he likes you then let him make the first move. Honestly it could make things very difficult for him if you do. I take it that you are seeing him privately (ie paying) and he's not your GP?

The only suggestion that might work if he has told you himself that he is new to the area is maybe to tell him about some kind of event that might help him to make friends with ther locals and mention that you will be there because you too are nrew to the area...then see what happens.

Brutally though I do thinkl its very likely that you are misinterpreting the signs......

[jno]

I'm not sure that chiropractors are covered by the same rules as doctors - if he's not working for the NHS and isn't covered by the General Medical Council (I think that's the rule-setting body), then he may well be free to see you out of hours. (I've often thought that having a chiropractor around the house would be very useful indeed.) Can other ABers confirm this?

In which case, the usual rules of attraction apply. If you fancy him, and you think he's not going to make the first move, then you'll have to do it yourself. What have you got to lose? The worst he can do is say no.

[hally3]

u need to ask him straight whether he has a girlfriend as most men will not mention just incase they break up

[Miss Zippy]

I know quite a few chiros and physios (male and female) and they do tend to get quite a few �comes on� from patients. It is, after all, a tactile treatment and coupled with the fact that many chiros and physios are often charming and personable people can make you think that you are �special� to them, when the fact is they treat all their patients equally. Many of the chiros and physios I know get given �thank you� cards or letters and small gifts such as flowers or a bottle of wine by patients at the end of their treatment. Normally, I advocate the old fashioned stance of always waiting for a man to ask you out, but as you may never see him again, on your last appointment why don�t you drop a hint about taking him out for a �thank you� drink sometime. Corny I know (not sure if I could do it!) but if he likes you, he will pick up on this hint. If he sees you as nothing more than a patient, he won�t respond but at least you�ll know.

[funnywebsite]

I don't know Helster, I think it might be best to forget him. You are fantasizing about someone you don't know feels the same way as you. It could spell Trouble with a capital T.

[Scarlett]

He is being paid to be sweet, symapthetic and kind. Do not interpret this as a sexual interest in you. I am a teacher of 16+ and like him, I have to go out of my way to be nice and interested in people because that is my job. Change doctors and then ask him out. But be prepared for a "no I am gay/married/21" etc

[helster]

Thanks to everyone for answering. I am also a teacher of 16+ so I know the score in that sense.

I'm taking all pieces of advice on board.

Thanks again.

Hx